Day 1 – Goals

Reading Time: 5 minutes

It’s Day One. Buckle up, strap in and give yourself a round of applause because here you are on the day you make the smartest decision of your life so far. This is the day you put yourself in my hands. Right now you’re weak. You’re soft. You’re ready to be moulded and I am ready to mould. I am The Fitness Jerk. I am the fire, ready to heat you up, strike the hammer down and forge you into a better, more confident person. Now, we haven’t got much time, but let me tell you this, if you’re thinking about jumping on the bandwagon of today’s new, flash in the pan diets, then don’t.

The truth is there’s major steps to take into consideration if you really want to lose weight. And I mean really want, not just buying the ticket so you can tell your friends you took the ride. These speciality-diets-of-the-week you have adopted in the past are for suckers, but don’t worry you’re one of many. You may not like to hear that but it’s the cold truth, real truth can bring real change and real change will only come when you’re totally honesty with yourself.

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Day 2 - Diet

Day 2 – Diet

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Hello Again! It’s Day Two! Congratulations. You made it one day of a weight loss programme. One with minimal instruction and a lack of necessary commitment from you. But you’re back here, and that counts for something. Now let’s talk food!

You’re probably here because you have a gaping weakness when it comes to the snacks. Everyone is different, but by your own measure you’ve already come to the conclusion that you need to lose weight. Now here’s the kicker; don’t cut all your junk food at once! We don’t want you relapsing like the crumb junkie you are. A Gradual decrease throughout the series will allow you to avoid withdrawal symptoms from your sugary habits! If you find yourself going through 24 packets of Walkers crisps in a week then buy a 12 pack the following week so you can limit your snacking; until eventually you can cut it down completely.

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Day 3 – Fitness

Reading Time: 6 minutes

Stand up and be counted! Here begins Day Three. Welcome. Are you standing? I want you to stand as you read this. Even if it’s at a desktop computer, I want you to tilt your screen to the sky, stand up and read it like that. So, are you standing? Good! Because today we’re talking exercise, and while it aint much, that’ s a start.

So maybe you’re still indifferent about whether to actually exercise or not. Maybe you can’t be bothered. Or maybe in your mind there is just no compelling reason to. Well here’s your damn reason: Exercise can actually reprogram your DNA

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day 4

Day 4 – What’s next….

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Welcome to Day Four….. Congratulations! You made it! I knew you would. Not everyone around here did, but I believed, and you didn’t disappoint me. But there’s still plenty of room for that disappointment to sneak in so I don’t want to see no slacking, no slouching, no grouching, no grumbling, no stumbling, no nothing.

We aren’t out of this yet and we won’t be until you’re in the shape you wanted to be when you started. If you drop out, decide it wasn’t worth it, decide looking sub-par is par for your course, you were beaten. Because you failed to take control. You failed to care about yourself enough to commit to self-improvement. And deep in the back of your mind you’ll still have this lingering nugget of knowledge weighing you down. A constant, nagging reminder that through your own failure, you are my bitch. You know, theoretically.

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day 5 - so far

Day 5 – So Far…

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Welcome to Day Five….. Here we are 5 days in and I genuinely feel that one of us has earned a break. And by one of us, I mean me. And so today we’re going to take a look back at the previous days, and look at what you’ve learnt. Really take in all the ways in which I have improved your lives. If you’re serious about improving your health, particularly through exercise routines, then you should be at home with a little repetition. If not then either make yourself at home, or get out of my house.

We started off, as many do, with the first day. We learnt how to approach getting serious about weight loss, and the ways in which you may well have been doing it wrong. We learnt the mentality of someone who achieves, versus that of one who fails.

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Day 6 - Cheat Day

Day 6 – Cheat Day

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Welcome to Day Six….. It’s been six gruelling, strenuous days since you made an important decision. The decision to change yourself for the better. To actually knuckle down, get off your arse and make that commitment to exercise and eating healthy. And even if you accumulated some aches along the way, that’s good. It just means you were trying to please me. And who wouldn’t want that?

But you made it. I mean, here you are. You made it through temptation, through sheer laziness, through moments of weakness and potential failure. You even made it through yesterday where I put my feet up and regurgitated what I’d already put down your throat. And today, Daniel-san, I give you the blessing of a cheat day.

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Day 7 - The Future

Day 7 – The Future….

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Welcome to Day Seven….. To paraphrase the Barenaked Ladies, it’s been one week since you looked at yourself and decided you weren’t happy. One week since you decided to do something about it and take action. One week since you took your shoes off, entered my dojo and gave yourself over to my instruction. And if you’ve been doing it right, you should be feeling it already.

The human body (even yours) is an amazing thing. It can start to feel incremental change almost immediately. It’s a reward. A psychological breadcrumb which can allow you to keep chasing those portly German children and save them from the witch’s house of sugary temptation. Embrace that feeling. Let it motivate you and keep moving forward. Like I said yesterday, you have to keep moving forward.

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